Thanks to putting myself candidly out there while drinking last night,
And thanks to my Facebook friends,
And thanks to Matt and Julie in the Angel Academy teleclass last night,
And thanks to my daughters,
And thanks to my psychologist, Emily,
I woke up this morning feeling like I'd had a healing!
And I feel like the cord has been permanently cut between me and CultAA!
Thanks to Matt Kahn.
So I don't have to fear or worry about needing CultAA ever again.
And in fact I don't need it, and haven't for nearly 10 years, as a mostly alcohol-free woman.
I don't have to go back to the organization that helped kill beloved Robin Williams, y'all.
Think about it, and think about how many suicides CultAA is responsible for: hundreds? thousands?
Robin was sober for 20 YEARS in the cult, then he started drinking again, then he went to them for help to stop again.
Do you know what they will have told him?!
They will have told him that he has to start All Over Again in his sobriety from Day 1!
They will have told him that ALL his sobriety meant NOTHING and didn't count!!
If I'm lyin' I'm dyin' ---- I know exactly what I'm talking about.
They will have made him raise his hand as a newcomer every day for 30 days!
Instead of telling Robin that he had a relapse, which is NORMAL in recovery, and helping him to dust himself off and pick up where he left off ----- they instead, UTTERLY HUMILIATED HIM!
PLEASE, DOUBTERS! THINK ABOUT WHAT I'M SAYING HERE!!!
The FACT is that MOST people who quit an addiction----2/3 of people----quit solely on their own!
There's a reason "they" don't want you to know that.
Even I had almost fallen prey again to the programmed belief from all my years in AA that I couldn't get and stay sober without them.
Oh! And get this! Because CultAA teaches that sobriety without them isn't real (it's "white-knuckling it"), the last time I was in the cult, about 10 years ago, a woman had joined who had 20 years alcohol-free sobriety on her own, and they made her feel like it wasn't worth anything! They made her start from Day 1. I KID YOU NOT. That says a lot, yo.
Sobriety and recovery are simply possible many other ways besides CultAA where they tell you there's something wrong with you if you can't grasp their simple program! They are STILL pulling that shit after all these decades, instead of changing it to that 'if AA doesn't resonate with you, there are lots of other programs that may, or you may be one of the majority who can and should quit on your own.'
I needed this pep-talk for myself after pressuring myself lately and being pressured by others to go back to CultAA!
If I went back there I'd break a vow I made to myself almost 10 years ago---and it's taking this long to even begin deprogramming from them!---they'd pressure me to do all kinds of things that I know are NOT in my best interests....
What I do long for is an in-person community of sober folks. The problem with SMART, LifeRing, and WFS is that they are groups combined with drug addicts, not just alcoholics or problem drinkers. Drug addiction and alcohol addiction are two very different animals. And for me personally, I need the focus to be about drinking.
I do have online support, and I do have myself, and I have done this many, many times, quitting up to five years at one point, and a couple two-year stints, a one year stint, and many months-long stints.
I can't know if I'll stay alcohol-free for life, and I really do wish I could go to AA for the community and the support and people I can call when I want to drink....... but how can I???!!!
